Up in the air

I think I've discussed this in the past and if I haven't then I have certainly thought it - the uncertainty in life is killer for someone like me. 

First I struggled with the uncertainty surrounding going to PA school.  I put in a decent amount of effort the first year that I applied and interviewed with my program and waited as patiently as possible.  When I received the, "We regret to inform you..." letter the uncertainty nearly overwhelmed me.  Should I even be pursuing this?  Am I supposed to go to PA school? I made up some ground by gaining more experience and applied again.  Once again, the uncertainty ate at me.  Will they call?  For this program, if you get a phone call you're in... if you get a letter you're out.  Now we know that the call came.  Praise God.

Then there was a lot of waiting and uncertainty about how well the didactic year would go.  Am I up for this challenge?  I prepared myself mentally as well as possible and put in as much effort as I felt I could and the Lord blessed didactic year. 

Following that I was uncertain about clinical year.  You get the drift.  What will come through the door next?  Am I up to doing surgical consults in the ER on the first day of my surgical rotation?  And so on.  And here I am, almost done with clinical year. 

The next level of uncertainty lies ahead of me.  Where am I going to work?  How will I be paying our bills in 6 weeks?  What about our student loans?  Things are looking up for us - there are definitely job prospects, yet nothing is set in stone.  So there is a lot of room for uncertainty here. 

In the end the take home point that I hope to pass along to my children and anyone who might take a moment to hear it is that there will always be uncertainty.  Moving through life will present us with much uncertainty at every turn.  The Bible tells us to be wary of saying, "I will do this or that tomorrow."  This is the way God has made the world.  And looking back, I see better why we need to trust Him to get us through each uncertain obstacle.  He is good.  Romans 3 tells us that "All things work together for those who love God and are the called according to His purposes."  Looking back on the last 2 1/2 years I can see in a very real way how God works to bring all things together - how He blesses us. 

My hope is that someday I will be able to relax and have faith during times of uncertainty to avoid overstressing myself and those around me.  Maybe someday I'll grow up to that level...  Only time will tell.