As we all set about our medical careers we understand that there are going to be certain days that stick in our memories for a lifetime. There will be days when the events that unfold make an impression upon us - days from which we learn volumes yet feel as if we have fallen flat on our faces. These days are difficult to bear, but strike so well at our weaknesses that they are essential to becoming proficient medical providers. Today was such a day for me.
Without going into too much detail, we had a number of pretty sick folks come through the ER today. As a student, I was unfortunately a bit hamstrung in what I could do to help in these cases - the bustle of activity surrounding me included skills that I do not possess and skills that are not easily acquired in just a month of emergency medicine. This experience was intensely frustrating in some ways and incredibly valuable in others - frustrating because the skills are ones that I need to know to practice medicine well, yet valuable in that essentially I was allowed to be a fly on the wall observing some talented providers work together to provide good medical care. In my case, the frustration overshadows the value a bit.
But to make good use of the time I spent in the ER today, it is my job to see to it that the value is evident in the end. Our clinical experiences will be what we make them to be, not more and not less. With this in mind, I can let the memories of the events that unfolded today sink in and stay with me so that when I am in practice and begin taking care of patients as sick as those that I saw today, I will at least understand the sequence of the things that need to occur.
As it turns out, I don't think I have a choice about whether or not the events that transpired will stick with me - some things we don't tend to forget.
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